Gaby’s PMDD Story
“Honestly, understanding it has been a game-changer [...] If I’d gotten help sooner so much heartache and chaos could’ve been avoided. ”
‘I felt like I was going up a hill - in a snowstorm’ - that is how Gaby describes life before she understood that she suffers from PMDD, and finally got the help she needed.
‘Every cycle I would have, what I call the “hell week” where I would destroy everything around me. 7-10 days where I would just be so angry and leave a trail of destruction behind me.’
Finding out about PMDD on TikTok
Gaby, a mother of two who runs her own businesses, had never heard of PMDD up until 6 months ago, when one evening she was idly scrolling on TikTok and a woman appeared, describing her PMDD symptoms. To Gaby, she could just as well have been describing her. She showed the video to her partner of ten years, and told him: ‘I think this might be what I have’.
As luck would have it, Gaby was scheduled to see her GP the next day. Gaby’s partner, whom she’s been with for the past ten years, had long been convinced that something wasn’t quite right - there were almost two different Gabys. The one that appeared a week or so before she’d have her period. And the other Gaby. The real Gaby.
Now, after years of asking, he’d finally convinced her to seek out some help.
‘My partner had consistently told me that he’d thought something wasn’t right and had kept asking me to talk to the GP because every time I’d be coming up to my period we’d argue. But I was incredibly defensive about it and honestly thought that he was the problem. Then I had my second child, [who is now 18 months old], and when my cycle returned I was just so incredibly angry every time I was due my period.
‘In that “hell week” I felt like I hated my partner, and I was convinced that he hated me. And I was desperate for someone to agree with me that he was a dick. So I’d ruin our relationship because I was walking around telling everyone how horrible he was. It felt as if I was just ruining my life every single month. And then afterward I’d be so sad because I was spending all of my time trying to pick up the pieces of the mess I’d created.’
Still, Gaby hadn’t recognised how there was a link between her self-sabotaging and her cycle.
‘I’ve had a pretty turbulent upbringing, and I thought I just had a short temper and would get really upset because of everything that has happened in my life [...] and interestingly trauma is linked to PMDD. Now, looking back, I can recognise this pattern of behaviour in my own mum. I’ve always been petrified that I was like her, and now I am like: ‘Oh my God I am’. But the difference is that I am now aware of it and getting help.
‘But I have spent thousands of pounds on therapy and done all sorts of woo-woo stuff to try and make myself better. But nothing ever worked.’
Until now.
Making a plan with the GP
With a little help from social media, Gaby now came to her GP appointment armed with information. Her GP told Gaby that she didn’t know a whole lot about PMDD, but from what Gaby was telling her, she could see how she’d made the link and she would do her own research and get back to her. A week later her GP rang her up with a plan.
At first, Gaby was put on hormonal birth control, but the pill didn’t agree with her. Now she is on anti-depressants and it has been life-changing. Her moods have mellowed out, which has allowed for more clarity about what she wants out of life; ‘Not constantly being in survival mode, has allowed for me to make better decisions for myself.’
And just as importantly, Gaby now understands what is happening to her throughout her cycle, and she has a language for talking about it, with her life partner, business partner and friends.
‘Honestly, understanding it has been a game-changer [...] If I’d gotten help sooner so much heartache and chaos could’ve been avoided. I have had a few failed businesses, my relationship almost collapsed several times, and there are definitely some things I wish my eldest hadn’t seen or heard.
‘Now everything is just a bit calmer. I have much more patience and I feel like I can finally live my life, properly’.
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