Betty’s Story
“A more in-depth education on the menstrual cycle and what is and isn’t normal is definitely needed.”
‘The pain was shocking’ says Betty, when recalling her first periods at age 13, ‘I remember having to leave school classrooms and lie on the bathroom floor, riding the waves of nausea and then going back to the classrooms, and pretending to be fine because I couldn’t explain what had been happening. I mean, it’s not as if we were taught much about periods in school. Maybe during a sex education class, it was mentioned that periods could be uncomfortable, but other than that we weren’t told much.‘
Betty, like so many others, was told that period pain is normal and something all women experience. Her mum told her to use painkillers and a hot water bottle to help with the pain, and with no real information as to what a ‘normal period’ should feel like, Betty just assumed that her experience was the same as her mum’s and her peers’.
‘The only information I really got at the time was from friends and family, telling me about their own experiences, but a more in-depth education on the menstrual cycle and what is and isn’t normal is definitely needed.’
Progressively worse pain
The pain got progressively worse over the years, but, not wanting to make a fuss, Betty didn’t let anyone know just how bad it could get. Then one day, when she was 17 or 18, Betty fainted in front of her mum. ‘I’d gotten on the train one day to meet my family in London, and could feel the first waves of pain that came with the start of my period. I must have looked pea green to everyone else in the carriage, but I pushed through it and made it to Victoria Station, feeling dizzy and nauseous. I found my mum, just before fainting in the station bathroom. When my mum asked what was wrong, I told her it was fine and was just my period.’ Betty’s mum was shocked and horrified, and between them, they decided she had to see a doctor.
Betty went to the GP, but doesn’t recall being asked much about her pain beyond her explaining her periods were really bad. ‘I don’t remember being given much information about what could be the cause of the pain. The doctor asked if I had ever tried the pill, and when I said no I was immediately handed a prescription for this. I felt really disillusioned by this and how short the appointment was, and ended up not taking the pill and it wasn’t followed up by anyone. I felt so dismissed by the whole experience that I didn’t go back. Although, now with hindsight I probably should have.’
When Betty went to university, the pain had gotten so bad that fainting no longer was an uncommon experience. ‘I’d pass out in front of my friends and they’d be shocked but I would pass it off saying “it’s absolutely fine, it’s just my period”. I dreaded every month’ Betty says, ‘and I’d make sure not to make any plans around the time I knew I would get my period. I pre-planned my supplies such as painkillers to make sure to not be left in the dark without them, but the times when they didn’t work, I just felt screwed and had to push through without that relief.’
‘My friends and family were telling me to see the GP again to get it sorted, but I had been told it was normal for so long and didn’t want to make a fuss of it, and I also had other friends that would cancel plans due to having period pains, so I just assumed it was a common experience for people.’
A turning point
The turning point for Betty came a year ago. ‘I was on my period, and usually I’d make sure I’d be alone when going through it but this was particularly rough. When my periods were like that - so bad that I would sometimes hallucinate - if I’d had a big red button that could just stop everything I would’ve considered it. I didn’t have any painkillers, and the pain had escalated, so I messaged my housemate asking for help. I felt as though I had gone into another plane of existence. I was continuously fainting and coming around, vomiting multiple times. My housemate called an ambulance, even though I told her not to. The paramedics said it was gastro related but they could not take me into hospital due to the vomiting. They gave me heavy-duty painkillers and left. I took the painkillers, and once I came around I swore that was the last time I was dealing with my period in this way and I would go get help.’
Betty visited a new doctor, one that came highly recommended by people with similar experiences. ‘I was worried they would just dismiss me again, but they were in fact incredible. This was the first time I felt like a doctor actually listened to me and didn’t rush me out the door.’
‘I was told my symptoms sounded like endometriosis or polycystic ovaries, and they recommended I try the coil.’ Although for most having a coil fitted is fairly painless, for Betty the experience was horrendous. ‘I thought that after all the pain I dealt with when on my period, I had a high threshold, but this felt awful. My nurses were really lovely and helpful though.’
Since her coil insertion, Betty still has months where she feels pain, but it is now different pain. ‘More constant, and more sharp pain rather than period pain. I told my doctor, who straight away referred me for an internal scan. Some of the nurses at the scan told me this was quite rare, and that most people have to fight for months to get a scan like that.’ Betty is still waiting on the results of this scan. In the mean time she’s purchased a TENs machine to help with the pain. ‘I would recommend a TENs machine to anyone with this level of pain, it has been really helpful.’
The impact of period pain
At work, Betty had decided not to share the fact that she was dealing with excruciating period pain, that was until a meeting was called. ‘My last job, working in the courts, did involve a meeting when I began taking time off for my periods. I would wake up some mornings and despite taking painkillers knew it would be impossible to get out of bed, let alone go to work and perform well. Some days I’m not even able to eat, walk and do other basic things, so going to work is out of the question. I had chosen to keep my reasons for my time off to myself, but I decided to lay my cards on the table in that meeting and I informed my manager that I was trying to get a diagnosis of Endometriosis. I suppose I got lucky. My manager, a white male with little to no knowledge of the subject, went away and did some Googling to inform himself better about what I was going through, and then told me I could let him know if I needed time off, or if there were days where I would prefer to work from home.
It’s not just Betty’s work that has been affected by the pain. ‘Sometimes I find myself sitting inside for the evening on the sofa in silence, clenching my teeth in pain instead of going out and living my life. But I’m really lucky that I have friends and family who are really supportive and understanding, even when I have to cancel plans. I also think being in a same-sex relationship helps, as my partner is doubly understanding and empathetic because she goes through painful periods herself.’
‘I do wish I’d had the awareness regarding reproductive conditions, that I do now when I was 16. Maybe it wouldn’t have taken me so long to seek help and try and get a diagnosis if I’d known that there potentially was a diagnosis to get.’
At the time of publication, Betty was still awaiting a diagnosis.
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